Self-respecting weirdos

France won against Uruguay, but it was ugly, and now my rugby hurts. Normally a great rugby match goes: BLONMF! BLARK, WIIIIIIIIIIIIZ, Triiiiiiiiii! BLUEARK! VIZIOUUUUUUUUUU! Triiiiiiiiiii! BRALADEK! MPFFFFF PAF! RABALDAGUE! TRIIIIIIIIIIIII! Well actually, we got this: Tagada, piouf piouf, mpfff, triiiiiii. Pili-pili mout-mout SEKOU MACALOU! Splash splash, push-pout triiiiiiiiii.

It wasn’t pretty. Obviously, it’s the evening when a few friends who, knowing nothing about rugby, say to you: “We’re coming to watch a good match, you’ll explain to us why it’s so good.” » And you answer: “Yes of course, but you will see it will be an easy match between the 2023 world champions and a valiant little nation, the French will respect the fundamentals of rugby by giving the Uruguayans a stunning victory. So bring a bottle of Pic Saint Loup. » And with the bottle open you explain: “Be careful, friends, rugby is a magnificent, poetic, fraternal, brotherly sport, a sport for sharing respect, for virile but correct tackles. A sport for self-respecting lunatics. And there we will respect the Uruguayans, by playing the match as if it were the final. » I knew a carpenter who applied himself in the same way when he made the main staircase of a beautiful house as when he worked on making a three-step staircase leading down to the cellar. There, our French team did not do the same stairs up and down. Upstairs when there are the All Blacks, it’s okay, it’s pretty, it’s solid, the stairs are as we expected them. Downstairs, our French rascals, they came and they placed two planks on concrete blocks, it made stairs OK, but shaky, trembling. We can clearly see that the guys in the locker room before the match said while curling their mustaches: “So cook up some good things to eat, prepare us some truffle pizzas, we’ll come back victorious.” » You shouldn’t take these Uruguayans like that, they do serious stairs up AND down. Gentlemen of the French, I hope the pizzas were overcooked.

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