the prevention of marital conflicts at the heart of the Familya house project

On the first floor of the Familya Saint-François-Xavier house in Paris, in a comfortable living room bathed in light, Isabelle Marabelle, marriage counselor, reveals the spirit of the place. “Here, we don’t judge. It’s a reflection in twos or threes”, announces this smiling woman, who tries, through exchange, to give the people welcomed, in couple or individually, tools, so that they find their own answers. “We just help to see things more clearly,” she explains.

The first Familya house was created in 2013 in Lyon, by Thierry Veyron la Croix and his wife. In 2018, faced with a “clearly increasing” demand, the association became a federation and decided to open three other branches. The phrase “Strengthening love, healing wounds”, taken from Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation Amoris laetitia (2016), is cited as a model by many members. It summarizes the mission of this association supported by Catholics and aimed at strengthening, at all ages of life, the different types of family ties. They are explored, cared for, during the various stages of life.

Preparing for the engagement

Among these, the follow-up of new couples and prevention are at the heart of the project. “Three out of four couples who intend to separate ultimately stay together,” says Thierry Veyron la Croix, mentioning an impact study on marriage counseling carried out in 2020.

Constance and Benjamin, both in their twenties, are planning to get married. They participated in this capacity in several dinners “to anticipate conflicts”. In the testimony they sent to Familya on its YouTube channel, they evoke the simplicity of these moments: “In the evening and with other people, it is more convivial. We were able to focus on points that we probably wouldn’t have talked about on our own,” says Benjamin. “We discussed our childhood, our families, what the other had experienced,” he explains.

The next dinner of this type takes place this Tuesday, February 14, on the occasion of Valentine’s Day, in collaboration with the neighboring parish, Saint-François-Xavier. It will bring together around fifty people, couples often married or in the process of being married. Isabelle Marabelle will host it. “We will propose to couples to address three themes: tenderness, conflicts and connection to the other. At each stage, they will ask themselves questions such as: How can we make our conflicts more fruitful? reveals the adviser, specifying that the objective is also to let the different partners exchange freely and enjoy a moment of intimacy for two.

An undeveloped practice

In France, the prevention of conflicts within couples is poorly developed. Marriage counselors do not have a state diploma, they must content themselves with a simple certificate. “It’s a poorly recognized and therefore poorly known profession”, declares Isabelle Marabelle.

However, it would benefit from being so, as the benefits are high. “In Denmark, in the municipalities where marriage counseling has developed, thanks to public support to democratize its access, a 17% drop in separations has been observed”, explains Thierry Veyron la Croix, convinced that “marriage counselors are the couple’s general practitioners.

Source