Abuse of power is never the victim’s fault, not even in a popular talent show

In any case, it is not the victims’ fault. It is a pity that something so obvious has to be said after the much-discussed broadcast of BOOS on Thursday. But it is necessary after the statement of the director of Talpa, John de Mol, also ‘father’ of The Voice of Holland. He said women should learn to call him faster about sexual harassment: “Women apparently have a kind of shame, I don’t know what it is, but I’d like to look into it.”

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Seven million Dutch people have now viewed the fruit of months of research by BOOS journalist Tim Hofman on the internet channel YouTube. Four well-known men who work for the well-watched talent program The Voice are accused of sexually transgressive behavior by young women. That behavior would have unfolded over the course of ten years and would range from sexually explicit comments to inappropriate advances, touching and even assault or rape.

A report has been made against three of the men and it must be said: the Public Prosecution Service has not yet identified anyone as a suspect.

A trial by media is already underway. Major sponsors, such as T-Mobile, Lidl and Renault, immediately withdrew, the indignant statements of colleagues, partners and other stakeholders tumble over each other.

In addition to the accused men, John de Mol also came under fire. How long did he know how much? The question also arises: is this type of boss, who showed little understanding at BOOS on Thursday for the side of the women and other powerless people, is suitable to turn the tide in his large company? Because protocols, confidential advisers and courses are available in many places, but they are worth nothing if they are not accompanied by a culture change. And yes, the cultural sector has turned out to be extra sensitive to sexual abuses for all sorts of reasons, especially when young people come to audition as with The Voice.

Yet power relations do exist, everywhere. Abusing a position of power is wrong and that is the point. This abuse occurs in universities, in the arts, at city hall, in church and sports, in hospitals or at any police station. Not just in the talent-hunting business. And of course not by every man or by every ruler.

But the fact is that it happens. For every case that gets publicized — and that has gained momentum since the #MeToo movement — there are many things that go undisclosed. Because victims don’t dare, or don’t want to, say anything about it. The more subtle the comments, looks and touches, the harder it is to say something. To even get started on it. And especially if you depend on that person.

In addition, as it turned out during BOOS, some young women do not dare to say ‘no’ to being touched by someone who has power over them. Because they didn’t say ‘no’, they think afterwards that what happened is their own fault.

The question is therefore how women, and other victims, can be protected against wrong behaviour. Afterwards but also before. The silence contracts that participants in The Voice had to sign do not help. The fact that there are official confidential advisers, as in all large workplaces nowadays, is apparently not enough.

More is needed. Tiles are now circulating on social media with ‘protect your daughters’ crossed out and replaced with ‘raise your sons’. And there’s something in that: it is mainly a matter of raising boys and men – especially if they are in a position of power.

Furthermore, women, but also men who become victims of abuse of power, need advocates.

It should be made clear in every organization that relationships involving sexual innuendo or harassment against subordinates are unacceptable. This should not only be heard by the people in powerful positions, but also by the young people. It is not normal for an older colleague, boss or ‘coach’ to talk about your appearance. Very personal texts to subordinates outside working hours are also not normal. In every company it must be made clear regularly which behavior is considered normal and which is not. Everyone in a company should also know that any complaint of transgressive behavior will be taken seriously and investigated, regardless of the reputational damage the company may suffer as a result.

A version of this article also appeared in NRC Handelsblad on January 22, 2022 A version of this article also appeared in NRC in the morning of January 22, 2022

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