Cheating is a topic that occupies the minds of readers, judging by the emails that are still coming in about it.
Last time we ended with a question from A* (68): „Partners of the men I have tried with, when they find out, brutally reject their husbands ‘because his cock was in a strange woman’. Is that cock suddenly infected or is the woman it was in dirty?”
Of course such a woman is furious with the mistress, replied K*. “You are disgusted by her. How dare she. She must keep her fingers away from a married man. She shouldn’t have thought about herself.” K herself is not a cheated woman, but a mistress. “Believe it or not, the role of a mistress can be incredibly painful and lonely,” she wrote. „I hear you think: nonsense, it is a choice, you can get out as soon as it starts to hurt. But when it comes to real love, that’s difficult.” The situation is similar to that of a woman who discovers that her husband has cheated on him but still stays with him, K thinks: “He could have left too, but she loves him.”
Tension arose between K and a bound colleague about a year ago. At first she didn’t dare to look into it, let alone go into it. Still, she whistled to work, and she missed him when he wasn’t there. Until “the tension hit” and he kissed her.
The agreement was that the relationship would last a week, but it is still not over, although she has another job. “I only have contact when he is at work. I can’t contact him because he has irregular working hours. Every morning when I wake up, I think: would he say something today? Sometimes I wait all day.” Nevertheless, she is unable to end the relationship. “This man, who I’m not allowed to be with, glows from head to toe when he sees me, and he makes me love not only him, but myself as well.”
End of marriage? On the contrary
B* (49) was on the other side: she discovered that her husband had been having an affair for a year. “I myself was too shy to cheat, but I would have liked to, because my husband and I hadn’t gotten along for a long time. But when I found out he did, I was furious.” End of marriage? No, on the contrary: “The short but severe crisis that followed brought us back together. I even fell in love again. Our sex life also started again, with new explorations. Now, a few years later, the infatuation has faded again, but luckily we love each other again.”
Finally, the 24-year-old D. wants to make a case for an open relationship. Her boyfriend, with whom she has been together for four years, told her a year ago that it seemed exciting and exciting to him to share each other with others. The image that initially occurred to her was of “two worn out, overtired forty-somethings who can no longer arouse each other and therefore have to seek their pleasure outside the door.” But after several conversations and a list of pluses and minuses, she gave in.
“Of course I was afraid of jealousy, a broken heart, the end of our relationship. Experience has shown that just the opposite is true. How nice is it if you allow each other the pleasure of flirting and the game of seduction (again), without your relationship having to suffer from a big secret?” D finds it extremely “interesting and exciting” when her boyfriend shares the bed with someone else. “In addition, it surprisingly makes our sex life much more intimate.”
Her boyfriend does not want her to talk about this with friends and family: he is afraid of gossip and misunderstanding. “I find that difficult, because an open relationship gives me a lot of beautiful things and I want to share that.” Through this column D hopes that she can still inspire others.
*Name omitted on request, but known to editors.